Understanding Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Understanding Oppositional Defiant Disorder

Today I had the opportunity to speak with Mr. Gerardo F. Alvarez on the subject of oppositional defiant disorder. Mr. Alvarez is a licensed psychotherapist with a specialty in substance abuse. He is also the clinical director of Inspirations for Youth and Families LLC Treatment Center. Mr. Alvarez gave me the insight on what is to have a child with oppositional defiant disorder and explained to me as follow:

The plague of the modern family is fear. It is the struggle of an adolescent who has been given control of a home before his or her time. It is the story of parents held hostage by two powerful words……….what if? What if they hate me? What if they run away? What if they kill themselves? What if they leave angry and something bad happens to them? What if this is all my fault?

According to Mr. Alvarez these fears can only be faced head on. He cited that parents feel compelled to risk action when the pain comes to be too much and the following realizations occur:

1. A life that consists of being held hostage by a sixteen year old child and your own fears is no
life at all (i.e. anything is better than this).
2. The child is only getting worse and I have to risk trying something for their sake.

Of course setting up boundaries when a child is used to running the household is no easy matter. What do you do when your sixteen year old child is running your home and your life? What happens when your child does not take no for an answer? How does one stop their child from manipulating them or “holding them hostage?”